That's What Friends Are For

I am right now getting ready for a getaway with my girlfriends; as in, I getaway to one of my girlfriends house and we look after each other. We listen, we advise, we serve, we appreciate and we share.

There are four of us that get together a few times a year, once or twice for a full weekend (or as much as family responsibilities permit) and another couple of times for lunches. We're pretty spread out and it often takes a bit of planning to make these times together happen, but we make it happen, BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT!! We plan the place, the menu, the activities, but always with a relaxed, 'if it works out that way, great' attitude and one of the activities that is scheduled EACH AND EVERY TIME, is the time to sit and share what's been going on for each of us and how it feels; this is a no holds barred kind of weekend, we know it all and we love each other for it all the more!

We've been getting together for about 13 years now, yes, ladies, 13 and, at different points during that time we've sometimes let our get togethers take the backseat and then one of us finds ourselves in crisis and know we need to reconnect. We've found the rhythm that works, we would love to be able to share more time together,but what we've found is the minimum, less than that and we're lost!

We're a good fit, two of us like to make the food, ALL of us like to eat it (it's always different and NOBODY complains), and two of us (not me, so much) like the clean up, well, would rather clean up; that makes for an easy weekend!

Once a month I go out for dinner with The Red Hot Mama's and in the summer we have a pampered weekend away. There is a different feel to this group, it's all about feeling better! As in LAUGHING!!

Basically, I bring the voice of experience to this group, as in, I'm the old one. But the thing that holds us together; that makes us look forward to each month's dinner, is how we can all laugh at ourselves (and those each of us married, as well :o) We all are going through the same kind of stuff, or have already gone through it, so there's no shame in talking about ANYTHING!! And that is always enlightening, if you allow yourself to be open.

Now, something that holds true for both of these groups is that it took a couple of years for me to open up to them, or more accurately, feel part of the group. I enjoyed being with them, but kind of sat around the edge, and you know what?

Life is Short; Jump In!!

Make time to spend with your girlfriends! Husbands, children and for some, parents, will always need your attention, but your girlfriends take you, your stuff, your beautiful self, your ugly self and celebrate life with you! They lift you up and they can bring you back where you belong, too, or they're just there to hold your hand and remind you that you are a good person. Can anyone ask for more?

Yup.

And that's why you need the time with your friends; to keep your sanity.

When I found my knitting group, eight years ago, it was an easier settling in period. I was in my 'zone' and we were all strangers; we were all getting to know each other.

Knitting can be a solitary hobby or you can choose to share your time, your knowledge or your quest for knowledge. Whatever brought each of us together isn't something that we've really explored but what I do know is that it has provided a lifeline for us!

It may be the need for a clarification of a pattern, to understand a new stitch, it may be to borrow some needles, it may be to get a ride, it might be to get a recipe, it might be to have another pair of hands, or eight, to untangle a wonderfully, fabulous ball of uncooperative yarn.

Or it might be that we came together so that we weren't alone when we heard the words, "they found cancer cells" or "there's a mass on your grandson's kidney" and so that you can celebrate, with tears and laughter, when they say, "you're cured" and "the bleeding has stopped" and "it's favourable".

Don't put it off; dont' stand on the sidelines. All that we know for sure, is that we have NOW! Share this revelation with all who you love, and if they don't get it, that's o.k., you tried.

Just remember to look after yourself and find a girlfriend, or twelve, to laugh and cry with; that's what friends are for.

Have a great week-end everyone...I know I will!

BOO!!

So this is my first Halloween Blog; do you think I'm into Halloween?

I painted that cat about 17 years ago and is filled with Candy Corn or Harvest Mix every year; I love that stuff. The 'Tradition' at our house are the 'Fingers' (nut free version this year and I like it better!). Did you know about Halloween Whoppers? They go great AFTER the Pinot Grigio that went with the hardboiled eggs, toast and sliced tomatoes with olive oil and Pear Balsamic Vinegar...a fabulous Halloween Feast if there ever was one!

Wine, Wool and Whoppers...it's a theme that carries through for every holiday!

You know, dressing up is NOT just for kids anymore! I went to a Murder Mystery last weekend with the Red Hot Mama's and we invited our fella's to play along. There was some duplication of characters which proved quite interesting...

We're both Lady Good Two Shoes; quite a different interpretation don't you think?
This is one of the hosts, and I just had to post it because, well it is soooo not the guy you see before you and isn't that what Halloween is all about?

I've got another quiet alone time right now, because the kids have each gone to a part of town where they're with their favourite friends and there's many more houses to go Trick or Treating at, and M has gone out to finalize a business deal.

We don't get very many Trick or Treaters out our way and now that kids are older it's even less! When we first moved out here we didn't get a sole and I took Candy to the bus stop the next day to try to get rid of it. I complained so much that the kids finally started to come up our way, but now that my kids find the pickin's better across the way I guess it will die down here again too. I like seeing the costumes and I especially like it when the kids say THANK-YOU!!

These two better say Thank-you, that's all I have to say! (See how nice the window turned out?!)

I am thankful for a warm Halloween, and for the reminder to live in the Moment, because that's ALL we know for sure!

Boo!

Creative-ness

The Creative Festival was FANTASTIC!!! Ruth and I met at the GO bus and decided that we would be fine just taking the one very substantial bag on loan from KGB. Ruth also had her knitting bag and her purse; I had my KNITTER'S backpack and a lightweight wallet to carry over my shoulder. The weather was nice; so we only had light jackets to worry about and we didn't anticipate spending much time outside anyway! We were able to knit and catch up on each other's lives on the way down, because we didn't need to worry about traffic or getting lost (Ruth can be directionally challenged at times) and we just sat back and enjoyed the ride.
Ruth had never been to the Creative Festival...mmmmm...(picture me rubbing my hands together)...I had a 'newbie'! And I am the perfect 'enabler' for a newbie. We were hoping to get there for the gift bags they were handing out to the first 500 people, I know, stop laughing; we did see some of the bags, but you know I really do have enough bags already! That's one.
So we start making our way around the show, starting at the back with Alpaca; OMG!!! A lady was spinning it and we were fondling, heaven on earth, I tell you, heaven on earth. Now, as I said, Ruth is a newbie, and we're on a bit of a time restraint; even though we got there first(ish) thing, our plan is to catch the first train out of Toronto to make sure we're home in time for our family obligations; there isn't time to linger at each booth, we have to keep moving! We had everything (except my wallet) stashed in the wheeling tote, nice and sturdy too, not tippy and some of the booths were so crowded it was hard to maneuver so we would spell each other off and let the other one have a fondle.
There were a couple of celebrity sitings and being the stalkers that we are, we went up and accosted Lucy Neatby and Fiona Ellis! We chatted with Fiona, got her to sign our books, (now we have a matched set!) and continued on our way
We worked one side of the hall and stopped for lunch. Ruth was getting concerned because I wasn't keeping up with her in the purchasing department. We had to reorganize the tote and we thought about calling KGB to see if she had another one, because we weren't sure that it was going to keep up with our Stash Enhancing Xcursion. So far I had bought a book, one SweaterKit, a few patterns and a little bit of fabric, because I
really do have enough already. That's two.
We had a couple of hours left to "do" the other half of the room, but that wasn't where the knitting and sewing supplies were highlighted; so we were able to make good time there. We met up with Transitknitter who was working the room in her usual fashion of 'once around to scope and then return for the things you love'; I think this is an admirable choice, but I've been burned using that method too many times. You scope, you ponder, you decide it's a must have, you try to find the booth again, and when you do....it's gone. So I share my wealth of experience with Ruth, whose been talking about making a quilt and getting back into sewing, but (mostly) she resists and sticks only with buying yarn, and books, and nighties (that one was painful. It takes more than a warm body to man a booth at the Creative Festival people! Get help from someone who knows what they're doing! It really is in everybody's best interest!), and a little something for her grandson.
Shopping at the Festival is like drinking at a party; once you make that first trip to the bathroom, you're done; and you'll be making trip after trip to the ladies room. Once you make that first purchase (or two) well, the flood gates have been opened and while I was a little slow out of the gate; as the clock ticked ever closer to the end of my time at this years show I quickly grabbed a few last minute, must haves! That's three? Nope, that's a strike!
By previous years standards I showed amazing restraint; we were able to just take the one bag, we made it to the train on time (Thank-you Transitknitter for hoisting the thing up and down those stairs!) and we have another Cast Off memory to share for the rest of our lives.
And Christine? Hello...I made Ruth stop for a Lemonade. Cheers!

Today is my mother's birthday. And I have something that I want to share with all of you, that played a part in the decision to name this blog. Last year at this time I had just started my Chemotherapy and was scared out of my mind! It was a special birthday for my mom and we celebrated with lunch at the CN Tower. I wrote a poem for the day.

HANDS

Our hands introduce us to so many wonders...
They are strong; yet soft,
They are small; yet all encompassing.
Our hands can tell stories...
Each scar holds a memory---something held on something that holds!
The work we do can be seen through our hands.
The choice we make to care for ourselves or nurture others can be seen on our hands,
Do we worry about our appearance?
Do we choose ease and function?
From Extravagance to simplicity and back again, using only a file, lotion and polish!
Our hands are sensitive to all that surround us...
They let us know if it is safe? Is there danger?
Is it hot? Is it cold?
Is it dry? Is it damp?
Our hands give us knowledge to go forward in our lives yet with one slight brush of a hand take us to where we once were.
From tiny, soft, defenceless newborn hands that grasp only a fraction of it's mother's fingers...
Our hands grow to chubby, sticky, dependent sources of amusement!
They come along and reach for us to explore our world---and all its creative wonder!!
We use them to taste, to draw, to build, to clean, to hear, to play, to see---they provide one of our senses, but assist in so many others!!
They allow us to CREATE!!
They take the hand of another to begin a family together.
And then the hands that were once so defenceless, now cherish the grasp, as before.
And these hands continue to give love, to teach and to learn.
These hands share the past and the future.
Then the hands, once so nimble, don't always perform as they once did.
They move more slowly and they become more fragile.
They've done good work and served you well.
There's so much still that they want to do---but maybe another day.
But the hands of time keep moving on with much to celebrate!
We gather to hold hands,to clap, to cheer, and to fold our hands in prayer.
We come together with our hands to share...
Share our hope, our memories, our wishes and our dreams.
Our hands can bring and give the comfort like no other.
And when I look at my hands, I see the hands of my mother.
That wonderful feeling is always with me---wherever I go, she is with me.
Whenever I recreate Hot Chocolate for my children and bring comfort to my family---she is with me.
Whenever I stroke a family pet; that's what two hands and a lap are for ---she is with me.
Whenever I knit and sew a gift for a precious, new baby to cuddle---she is with me.
And I will always, always cherish the hands of my mother.

Written for October 28, 2006

I'm thankful for all the friends and family that I got to spend time with this past week and look forward to sharing many more great stories!
Keep on Knitting!

This is Thursday!

Yes, today is Thursday! I love Thursday; by far my favourite day of the week! It's knitting night! It's a night that both the kids and I look forward to; I get to spend time with some of the finest women on the planet! And the kids get pizza for dinner! Everybody wins! And when I'm really lucky I get to meet these wonderful women for dinner too; woohoo!!

How much do I love Thursdays?

I plan my life around Thursdays!

I look forward to Thursday more than any other day of the week!

I miss t.v. shows because I'ld rather be knitting!

I can think of very few things that I choose to do other than knitting ( I may do other things out of guilt, but my heart is at knitting!)

I even have a cat named Thursday.

And her sister is called Friday. And everybody loves Fridays! So I've got a lot of love flowing around here. I didn't choose their names, they came with them when I adopted them from the SPCA.
This is Kenny; wanna belly rub? His real name is 'Kenny C the Cat from Collingwood'; quite the handle eh? I was going through a Kenny G phase when this grey tabby kitten found his way to my home. He's such a neat cat. Doesn't pay too much attention to us in the house, but outside? He's just like a puppy, running up to us and loving the company!

So those are my three cats, all with their unique personalities and needs.
Kenny likes pink.
Friday is a talker and enjoys being combed ~ relatively speaking.

Thursday? Thursday is special.

Her Nickname is The Purrminator; she has the loudest purr that I have ever heard! She is very loving and all you have to do is look at her and the purring starts!

She has some, well, hygeine issues though; she's extremely fluffy. She has a bit of a belly and some joint stiffness which makes it a little difficult for her to keep up with 'cat grooming duties'. Ehem. She does not enjoy the whole combing experience...when done by me. And really who else is going to do it?

Well, Pam the groomer, that's who!
Here is Thursday; doesn't she just ooze love?

This is Thursday after a few hours with Pam, our local groomer.

Every three months or so, I take Thursday in for her "Lion Cut" and she loves it! No, really! She just lays there as Pam cuts, and combs and cleans away all the 'nasty bits'. When she comes home, she's light on her feet and she just looks sooo much happier (don't let the miserable look fool you; she had just gotten home and wanted to hit the dog!)

If only people would stop laughing at her.

So yea, we all win on Thursdays...I get to go out, the kids get pizza, and after Thursday gets a hair cut there's less cat hair on the furniture, our clothes...everywhere!

Five things I'm thankful for:

1) Dinner at Kings

2) Both kids feeling better today

3) Talked to my mom today

4) The Cast Offs

5) My plan to go to the Creative Show (or whatever they call it now! Sorry it's late and I don't want to look it up or link it, but you know the one, at the MTCC in Toronto and it's HUGE!!) tomorrow with Ruth! That's a big Woohoo and a Yipee! I missed it last year.

Tea it was!!

Well I stuck to my plan and did have a quiet evening with tea and lace. It was quite a lovely time and everybody got home safe and sound.

Since that time however, it has been non-stop! Kids here, kids there, what's for lunch; what's for dinner?

And so the Saturday wine and stocking stitch (while watching Hockey Night In Canada---what's a week without Don Cherry?) didn't really go as smoothly as I had envisioned. The stocking stitch part was fine; it was keeping track of the four measley decreases after 9 rows that apparently is too much for my Pinot Grigio accompanied knitting time and so one row had the first decrease and the next row had the 3 (I'll continue counting from the first one -- where it was supposed to be).

It's a skirt and there's a mistake in it and as my dear friend Carole used to say, "A blind man would be glad to see it!"

It's a dreary day here and Chloe has an upset stomach again (code for ewww!), but so far (knock wood) we've (Chloe and I) have managed to keep everything under control (code for outside!)

Five things I'm thankful for:

1) Internet computer stuff---I've found a lot of helpful information and kept up to date in what's going on in people who I care about lives.

2) Pepto bismal tablets (Chloe)

3) Mario put up a t.v. in the basement for me.

4) A chance to have a little nap after everybody went to school because I was soooooooo tired.

5) My friends and family.

Alone...

I have but a very small window of alone time right now! My son has just gone to a dance; "no, mom you don't need to walk with us to the door." This sentence was quickly followed by a pleading look of, 'don't ask me to kiss you good-bye. PLEEEAASE!!' I didn't, but this kids growing up thing is harder than I expected. He went to his first dance last month and I basically avoided the whole thing by going out with The Red Hot Mama's!---More about them another day. (trust me, it's worth the wait!) So really, this, is the first dance for me, the mother!
My Friday evening mantra: "he'll be fine, he'll be fine, please let him be fine, he'll be fine, he'll be fine."
My daughter has her visit with her BFF extended for another hour or so and my husband is playing poker with some guys.
So I've got quiet time to let you know that it has been a good week. I got a 'good to go' from Princess Margaret Hospital for another 6 months. (I'm not going to dwell on this point, so keep going)
I took my daughter to see CATS this week at the Princess of Wales Theatre and it was a really great day. We took the Go Bus down to Toronto, rode the subway (this is a big deal!) and took the Go Train home. Another success for me! I got to the city --- and home again--- maintained my sanity; I even got some knitting done. Commuting does have some perks!
I finished reading Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair last night, glanced over the patterns at the end of the book and...
started reading it all over again. And this was in the middle of the night using a flashlight! I really enjoyed the book and recommend it to...anyone, she's a funny young lady.
O.K. so that's about 15 minutes of my alone time devoted to blogging; my plan now is to make a cup of tea and work on my Mystery Stole (because nobody is here to interupt me). Yup, that's my plan.

Have I shared with you my two favourite wines in the world?

Yup, I'm planning on tea and knitting lace.

Or maybe, wine and stocking stitch.
It really doesn't take too much to keep me happy; stocking stitch is just fine, if there's wine. ;o)

Looking Out For Number One!!

No guesses; I'm thinkin' that means no lurkers. Well, it's only been a few weeks, so I'll keep trying.

By the way, it's the Travel Skirt from Ram Wools and I've got about 1 1/2" done and therefore was not able to wear it last Sunday. Oh well, there's always Christmas!

O.K. I had a few things to get off my chest.

But before I start, I just want to say that this is not going to be a Breast Cancer blog. I had it, and since this is Breast Cancer awareness month the subject may come up a time or two.

What I do want to talk about, however, is the continued need for all of us to act on our own behalf when dealing with our health.

If you find a lump (doesn't matter how old you are!), get to a doctor! Make them; yes I said, MAKE them, follow up with a mammogram and/or ultrasound.

Next, it is YOUR responsibility to find out the results; do NOT use the, "if I haven't heard from them, I guess there's nothing to worry about" line. Ask when the doctor expects to have the results and then phone or make an appointment to follow up. (this applies to any test, really)

Here's a biggie, and for some reason, I just keep having to learn it over and over again. If something doesn't feel right, keep going until you get answers! You know your body best, you are not bothering anyone; it's their job and it's your life! Speak Up! Nobody can help or know there's a problem if you don't Speak Up! And don't be afraid to ask for help.

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in July 2006 and since then, while I have been very lucky a lot of the time, it still surprises me how often I've had to act as my own advocate and I had a pretty good idea how the system works! But what about all the people who have difficulty with the language, or are stuck thinking that, "the Doctor will look after me" and don't know how the system works?

It's an overflowing system, manned by people; people who are capable of missing something, of having a bad day and not picking up on all the details that are "your life"! It's a system, where you are sent from specialist to specialist, who only look at the little part of you that is their specialty; guess what? There's more to you than that little part!

Keep looking until you find someone who looks at the 'whole' of you and puts all the pieces together to find the answer that is right for you!

In the past year and a half I cannot tell you how many people have had a look at my chest; (not terribly glamorous) asked the same questions; seen the same thing and offered very little advise for any complaints/concerns that I had and just kept encouraging me to move forward. And this was good too, but I still had questions and since I pretty well got the same answer with each person I asked...I thought that this was just the way it was going to be forever and you know, that didn't feel too good.

So, I went to a barbecue in September; chatted with a lady about Lymphedema (hers) and she told me about a clinic in Cookstown where the physiotherapists deal with Lymphedema and by association, many breast cancer survivors; so I got the number.

I was sure I didn't have Lymphedema, my arm wasn't swollen and I had been assured time and time again, that my risk was virtually next to nil, having only had a few axillary nodes removed. What I was looking for, was someone to give me some direction on moving forward, because, while in many parts of my life I had moved on; I didn't feel like it. Because I was still uncomfortable and didn't know what was too much to do or not enough, ie. looking for balance. Sigh.

The lovely lady at Cookstown Centre for Wellness took a short history, reassured me that my risk was decreased for developing Lymphedema (again) because I did not have radiation as part of my treatment, asked a few questions and before she saw my chest told me that I had Lymphedema. And you know, I didn't quite follow what she was saying, because I didn't have Lymphedema, I had a discomfort under my arm, some aching, some throbbing some times, some puffiness under my scar that got red sometimes from the heat; that I thought was fat, and some funny fat deposit above my scar, under my arm where, "that's just the way it healed".

But that's not Lymphedema---uh, yea, it is!

She re-educated me on the lymphatic system, she taught me how to perform self massage; she gave me a massage---no deep muscle, very light touch---she gave me forms and reference material to get set up with compression sleeves in the hopes that this will not get worse.

And she listened.

And when she was done (one short hour) I felt fantastic (and verklempt).

And when I got home and had a look...I could not believe the difference!! I was smooth, I was comfortable, I could reach up and not think I was pulling something apart! And all from a few simple hand movements!

And all because I didn't give up looking for somebody that would have the right answer. It wasn't a mission, but it nagged at me and that's when you should pay attention!

This is not about blame; everyone that was involved in my care did the best job that they could, but not everyone knows everything that there is to know and so, be vigilant and find your answers!

My Granny's life advice was, "Look Out For Number One!" Yea, because if you don't; nobody else is going to!





Have you ever noticed mushrooms?



The leaves are falling and life is slowly fading on this season and up from the ground a mushroom pushes forth; lifting the earth out of its way!
And there they are; up from nowhere...actually from something dead under the ground...leaving the pieces of earth that were in their way laying upside down.
Where pansies, just look at you with a funny look on their faces!



FYI: It took just over an hour to write this, dad. Chloe wasn't impressed.