This is difficult to write.

Today is the Knitter's Fair in Kitchener Waterloo.
I'm not going and that makes me very sad.
I'm not feeling well enough to go a Knitting Fair and that just makes me feel worse!
I remember when I was 18 I got a cold/cough thing that was a doozy and may have interfered with my school schedule a bit, but in no way was it going to interfere with my social life! Besides I always felt better once I got out and enjoying myself.
I was invited out to a bar where some friends were playing in the band (that was back when smoking was allowed everywhere) and I was sick. I ummed and awed, I even asked dad what he thought I should do? (He lives for stuff like that.) I was shocked by his answer, "I can't tell you what to do. You'll have to decide that one for yourself." I remember that like it was yesterday.
So, I went.
I was 18, what else was I going to do.
I'm sure I had fun. I'm sure I felt o.k. while I was there. I'm sure I didn't meet the love of my life which was pretty much why I did everything when I was 18.
The next day I felt like crap (no hangover) just shouldn'thavegoneoutwhenyouweresick, crap, and I'm sure the virus hung on a lot longer because of my decision.
Well, I'm not 18 anymore...at least not physically...
I've got more responsibilities for one thing. Hopefully, I'm a little more practical and I'm starting to learn that yes, I actually do have to look after myself. me. nobody else. I do know what's best and sometimes that means making some very hard decisions.
I'm tired of making hard decisions; this should be an easy one...Knitting Fair? I'm there! Done. Easy.
Stupid cough. Stupid surgery. Stupid this. Stupid that.
See, now look, I'm whining. It is an absolutely gorgeous day and there have been plenty lately and more on the horizon, ie. weather forecast is good. I am blessed with wonderful, healthy, happy children. I have pets that give me unconditional love. I have a hardworking husband that makes sure we have a safe and warm home. I have more yarn and fabric than anybody should rightfully own! I have friends that love and support me, who are better at looking after me than I am, because they keep telling me, "take it easy; rest."
But, it's the Knitter's Fair....
It was part of the plan....
There are people there (besides the many knitters that I already know and love), strangers, or maybe, 'yet to be friends', that 'get' me.
The fumes.....oh, I love the fumes...
There will be new stuff and I'll miss it!!! I hate missing stuff!
THAT'S IT!!! I hate missing out!!
My whole life I didn't want to miss anything, and now that I've found my passion, it cuts me deep not to be able to immerse myself in it always!
So today I will stay home and knit and maybe sew. I will take my daughter to her dance class.
I will rest.
After all, I need to be ready for the Vogue Knitting Cruise! See, tough decisions!